Bolivia: Dancing with the Devil

Hola amicos,

My wanderlust caught me again after 1.5 months without traveling, so I changed North America for South America this time.

My trip started in Lima, Peru, where my party skills were challenged right upon arrival. I stayed with a Peruvian guy and my God, he drank the rum like lemonade. Good thing I am a rum fan as well so the night started well. At the discotheques it was time to practice my Spanish skills again and by now I have improved from my ‘Tienes un cuerpo precioso’ or ‘You have a beautiful body’ to “Ay Dios que rico!” and “No te preocupes, lo hago yo”. After Lima I made my way to Cuzco where my 5 day trek to Machu Picchu started. Too bad for me, the 5-star accommodation mentioned in the brochure meant a tent under thousands of stars. FUCK, it was freezing cold at 4,600 meters (15,000 ft) altitude and not a lot of oxygen, so no sleep. Why didn’t they tell me? Good thing the Inca massage mentioned in the brochure was great. Machu Picchu was ok, but way too touristy. Very impressive though what those Inca’s have done.

After Peru it was time to visit Bolivia. Fuck! Filled up with Jesus looking (guys) and unshaved (guys and girls) ugly hippies again. What is it with those idiots, trying to save the world? Well, I guess anything is better than the groups of Israelis in Peru.

After a quick visit to La Paz and Sucre (still not sure which one is the capital) I ended up in Potosi, a nice miners city that used to be the biggest city in the world in the colonial times. Now the mines do not have that much silver anymore, but there are still about 12,000 miners working in the mines. I met a former miner who invited me to come to the mines with him. Great, because that way I would avoid the “tourist mines”. Well, maybe I should have gone for the tourist mines. This guy was insane! Imagine, a mine at 4,200 meters (over 13,000 ft) altitude, so not a lot of oxygen already, narrow ways of maybe 1,5 meters (5ft) high, which works for them, but not for me with my 1.86 meters (6”2’). To make it worse, the mine was full of dust of course, as if you are smoking 10 cigarettes at once, so even less oxygen, hundreds of meters into the mountain, so actually no oxygen……and fucking hot!!! And then running and climbing like crazy, because the miners just had to do their work and guess what…..they just placed some dynamite, something my great friend didn’t know. What a fucking idiot, trying to kill us! Damn, I can’t believe I’m doing this for fun, can’t I just stay home? Well I could, but then I wouldn’t have the opportunity to finally dance and drink with the devil. The mines are believed to be hell and the minerals are owned by the devil, Tio. Every mine has its own Tio and the miners worship and fear him. They bring offers and ask for many minerals and no accidents (good thing we did that before the dynamite exploded). Together with Tio we danced, drank, smoked and chewed coca leaves (everyone in Peru and Bolivia (and other South American countries) chews coca leaves, which are used for making cocaine, all day. It helps against fatigue, hunger, and the altitude). Oh my Tio, it was sooooo much fun….. Yes, I really hope they serve beer in hell, oh no, rum and coke!

Speaking of coca…. Since I have been chewing it for almost a month now, my mouth is totally numb. I therefore thought it would be a good idea to finally get my wisdom tooth removed. Well, given the fact that it only cost me $40, rather than $300 it was a good idea. Too bad that the $40 included a mouth infection…….. fucking trade-offs…. I was thinking of getting my balls lasered as well, so I wouldn’t have to shave them anymore, but I changed my mind……

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