To celebrate any event properly, there must always be a pre-celebration and post-celebration. And Halloween is no exception.
I had started off the Halloween partying almost a week early. My girlfriend at the time was the stereotypical American that let her outward appearance match her true persona during Halloween (sometimes I like to be subtle about calling my girlfriend a whore. Shit, I just ruined it.). It was a Saturday night, and she was looking 1 heel better than a hooker on Hollywood Blvd. She looked the part so well that I raised an eyebrow when she told me she had this ‘Halloween costume’ lying around…
As is usually the case, we ended up pretty shit-faced by the time the end of the night rolled around. She came back to my place after the Halloween party. In my drunken stupor, I had forgotten what my roommate told me earlier that day –
his parents would be stopping by the house for lunch on Sunday. I was supposed to heed this warning since his parents are bible-thumping, ultra-conservatives that fasten their belts one hole too tight. And they just happened to know my parents. Great.
My girlfriend and I woke up the next morning oblivious to the fact that anyone was there. When we left my room, I was wearing only my boxers, and she was wearing her Halloween hooker outfit from the previous night (now with smeared make-up). Enter the kitchen. Shit. I manage to blurt out an awkward “how are you doing.” Silence. “Ok, see you later.” As we’re leaving the kitchen, all I hear is “oh my god.” Wait, aren’t you not supposed to take the Lord’s name in vain? Bunch of hypocrites.
Fast forward to 2 days later. I get a call from my mom — “are you bringing prostitutes home with you now?” Classic. I hope they visit again soon. Life is no fun without someone to disapprove.
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